Clown Watch: Reservoir Incident Still Technically Unexplained
Satire / entertainment. Read responsibly. Panic recreationally.
The Clown Watch desk has reopened its file on the reservoir incident after new reports described honking sounds, wet footprints, and a balloon animal with no obvious exit strategy.
Officials stressed that there is no evidence of organized clown activity, then asked reporters not to use the phrase “organized clown activity” in headlines.
Witnesses described a figure near the fence line who claimed to be “just networking,” which is what everybody says right before the grant money disappears.
The reservoir remains open. The balloon animal remains at large.
