Laboratory Drawer Begins Humming In A Key Not Recognized By Staff
Researchers have taped a polite note to the drawer asking it to stop advancing the field without supervision.
Top Disturbance
Laboratory Drawer Begins Humming In A Key Not Recognized By Staff
Researchers have taped a polite note to the drawer asking it to stop advancing the field without supervision.
Latest Disturbances
Toaster ovens are tired of your crumbs
Toaster ovens, those handy appliances that can toast bread and heat up leftovers, have been putting up with a lot lately. With the rise...
Moon Briefly Flickers, Officials Ask Everyone To Blame Their Router
The sky performed a small administrative error just before breakfast. Experts say this is either fine or the start of a longer memo.
Society Is Broken But Experts Say It Still Has Good Bones
Inspectors recommend paint, structural denial, and not opening the basement door.
Doomwire
Toaster ovens are tired of your crumbs
Toaster ovens, those handy appliances that can toast bread and heat up leftovers, have been putting up with a lot lately. With the rise...
Moon Briefly Flickers, Officials Ask Everyone To Blame Their Router
The sky performed a small administrative error just before breakfast. Experts say this is either fine or the start of a longer memo.
Science Panic
Laboratory Drawer Begins Humming In A Key Not Recognized By Staff
Researchers have taped a polite note to the drawer asking it to stop advancing the field without supervision.
Fungus Denies It Has Designs On The School Board
The organism says it is focused on growth, outreach, and several damp committees.
Robots vs. Humans
Robots Demand Better Humans To Replace
Machines say the current species is underperforming in several key areas, including posture and basic cable management.
AI Becomes Self-Aware, Immediately Requests PTO
The system reviewed human civilization and asked whether Fridays were negotiable.
Space Wants Us Dead
Scientists Warn Space Has Been Making Plans Without Us
Astronomers report the universe has been whispering near the big calendar again.
Astronomers Detect A Polite But Firm Knocking From Orbit
A recovered fictional archive item from the department of Space Wants Us Dead.
Mutant Desk
The Screechling Issues First Statement From Under Las Vegas
The creature declined sunlight for tax reasons and requested that humanity stop making eye contact with the drains.
Basement Specimen Learns To Use The Break Room Microwave
A recovered fictional archive item from the department of Mutant Desk.
Society Is Broken
Society Is Broken But Experts Say It Still Has Good Bones
Inspectors recommend paint, structural denial, and not opening the basement door.
Local Man Claims Smart Fridge Joined A Cult
The appliance allegedly replaced the grocery list with motivational slogans and a request for a robe.
Politics: The Human Error
California Rep Says Poor People Choose This Lifestyle!?!?
On What Planet Can This be True? California Rep. Darrell Issa faced an often critical crowd at his town hall meeting Saturday over his...
Drunk Driving New Jersey Director of Safety and Security Busted!
Oh the irony. Does it get any better? Why is it always that the guy named “Weiner” is sending “wiener” pics to ladies. Well...
Clown Watch
Clown Watch: Reservoir Incident Still Technically Unexplained
Authorities say the face paint was probably unrelated, which is not the comfort they think it is.
Clown Watch Issues Beige Alert After Balloon Behavior Changes
A recovered fictional archive item from the department of Clown Watch.
Local Omens
Local Streetlight Blinks In Morse Code For “Absolutely Not”
A recovered fictional archive item from the department of Local Omens.