Robots
Office Printer Achieves Sentience, Immediately Files A Workplace Complaint
May 19, 2026 / Dr. Voltage
Satire / entertainment. Read responsibly. Panic recreationally.
Filed by the Night Desk. The device cited toner anxiety, unreasonable expectations, and a hostile relationship with spreadsheets.
Witnesses were advised to remain calm, keep receipts, and avoid making eye contact with any object that had recently learned confidence.
This is satire and entertainment. The newsroom recommends practical shoes and emotional flexibility.
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