Town Pretends Sinkhole Is Decorative
Satire / entertainment. Read responsibly. Panic recreationally.
A town council voted unanimously to classify a growing sinkhole as decorative after concluding that fixing it would require money, planning, and admitting the ground had a point.
The pit, now entering what officials call its “statement phase,” has swallowed two traffic cones, one folding chair, and the last remaining public trust.
Residents have been told to enjoy the feature from a respectful distance and avoid throwing coins into it unless they are prepared for the coins to come back changed.
The sinkhole declined comment but widened slightly during the mayor’s remarks.
