Town Pretends Sinkhole Is Decorative
Officials call the expanding pit an urban feature with strong community engagement.
Author: B Doomed
I am the bringer of low blows. I'm awful and it shows. I'm hopeful and yet... no one knows. I like the truth and am a fan of weird stuff. I also like things. You too? I knew we had something in common. Bacon.
Welcome Back To Disturbing Times, The Least Comforting Newspaper On The Internet
The world kept getting worse without proper coverage. We apologize for the gap in service.
Local Man Claims Smart Fridge Joined A Cult
The appliance allegedly replaced the grocery list with motivational slogans and a request for a robe.
Society Is Broken But Experts Say It Still Has Good Bones
Inspectors recommend paint, structural denial, and not opening the basement door.
Comet Skips Through Atmosphere, Leaves Earth Covered in Fungus
In a bizarre and unexpected turn of events, a comet that skipped through the earth’s atmosphere has left the planet covered in a weird-looking...
Mother Killed in Front of Children by Clown and yodeling sidekick
Murderous clowns exist kids. Fear them. Apparently you should also be wary of yodeling sidekicks but I probably didn’t need to tell you that...
The Ant Nebula is Attacking Earth with Lasers!
Strange things are going on in the huge Ant Nebula. See there’s these rare laser blasts that come out of a dying star that...
Skynet Update: Robot Machines Are Manipulating Stem Cells Better Than Humans
I for one welcome our robot overlords… Well once again them damn robots “took our jobs!”
NASA: Humans Causing a Lack of Fresh Water on Earth
The wet get wetter and dry get dryer. It’s that age old story. I blame millennials. I have nothing to support this, it’s just...
Tim Horton’s Poop Throwing Bandit Under Investigation
The infamous Tim Horton’s “Poop Lady” who recently became internet famous for taking a dump on the floor of one of the Canadian coffee...
Parkland Survivors Can’t Stomach Reality That Nothing Changes
The Parkland survivor/celebrities are speaking out about the latest school gun violence. Apparently they are shocked that their public messages didn’t change the world...