Super robots are here and they’re horrifying
“Sarah Connor?” – T-800
These things ain’t no R2-D2! These things run fast as a cheetah and are as powerful as a small back hoe. What? Did you think the first wave of truly impressive robots that we produce would be all fuzzy and nice, built for assisting humankind with the scientific exploration of our world? Ha! Fat chance mouse potato! Now clean the cheese dust off your fingers and prepared to be truly frightened by technology.
Look at that sucker! It’s like a payload of whatever evil that’s required with a spider’s legs! Fantastically scary. Boston Dynamics claims that “Organizations worldwide, from DARPA, the US Army, Navy and Marine Corps to Sony Corporation” turn to them for help creating these robots. Hmm. That’s a varied group. Four military branches and a multimedia company. What do you want to bet Sony is gearing up for a robotic ground war with Samsung? Remember where you heard it first 😛
Seriously, these are impressive pieces of machinery that have come a long way since Archytas’ mechanical bird in the mid to late 300’s BC (look it up!). Boston Dynamics has had their share of viral videos showcasing just how far we’ve come in terms of stability. We’ve come scary far! We’ve all seen the video of the terrible humans kicking robots as they walk by, trying to knock them down. What do you want to bet that more advanced robots see that as an act of aggression towards their ancestors and it leads to a robot uprising? Well, nothing we can do now. Those jerks.
That was Spot. He was a prototype that well… was bit by a rat, contracted rabies, and died alone in a ditch where he laid for weeks before they discovered him. Actually, he’s fine. He’s a robot dog thing whatever.
They’ve come a long way since Spot by the way. Get a load of Atlas.
Now that thing was something right? They’re literally just about there. I still think it’s a bad idea to kick and abuse these things. They’re going to remember. Atlas already looks like he can remember and doesn’t look like he wants to take any more shit from these fleshy humans. I might be with him.
I for one as always welcome our robotic overlords and am just thankful that I’m alive to see the techno wars and subsequent end of the human race.
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