Toaster ovens are tired of your crumbs
Toaster ovens, those handy appliances that can toast bread and heat up leftovers, have been putting up with a lot lately. With the rise...
Author: Dr. Voltage
Moon Briefly Flickers, Officials Ask Everyone To Blame Their Router
The sky performed a small administrative error just before breakfast. Experts say this is either fine or the start of a longer memo.
AI Becomes Self-Aware, Immediately Requests PTO
The system reviewed human civilization and asked whether Fridays were negotiable.
Fungus Denies It Has Designs On The School Board
The organism says it is focused on growth, outreach, and several damp committees.
Scientists Warn Space Has Been Making Plans Without Us
Astronomers report the universe has been whispering near the big calendar again.
Robots Demand Better Humans To Replace
Machines say the current species is underperforming in several key areas, including posture and basic cable management.
Local woman’s bizarre claim: cleaning products gave her superpowers!
In the small town of Windyville, a housewife named Linda has caused a stir with her claims that a mixture of household cleaning products...
Local Streetlight Blinks In Morse Code For “Absolutely Not”
A recovered fictional archive item from the department of Local Omens.
Clown Watch Issues Beige Alert After Balloon Behavior Changes
A recovered fictional archive item from the department of Clown Watch.
Basement Specimen Learns To Use The Break Room Microwave
A recovered fictional archive item from the department of Mutant Desk.
Astronomers Detect A Polite But Firm Knocking From Orbit
A recovered fictional archive item from the department of Space Wants Us Dead.