Scientists Teach Mold To Read, Regret First Book Selection
The project was halted after the colony underlined several passages and asked about governance.
Tag: science panic
Laboratory Drawer Begins Humming In A Key Not Recognized By Staff
Researchers have taped a polite note to the drawer asking it to stop advancing the field without supervision.
Robots Demand Better Humans To Replace
Machines say the current species is underperforming in several key areas, including posture and basic cable management.
Scientists Warn Space Has Been Making Plans Without Us
Astronomers report the universe has been whispering near the big calendar again.
Fungus Denies It Has Designs On The School Board
The organism says it is focused on growth, outreach, and several damp committees.
AI Becomes Self-Aware, Immediately Requests PTO
The system reviewed human civilization and asked whether Fridays were negotiable.
Scientists Discover A Drawer That Only Opens During Bad Decisions
A recovered fictional archive item from the department of Science Panic.